Holding on

I still cuddle a stuffy given to me from a guy who abused me.
I still have a postcard from another guy who abused me.
I have a picture I keep of me and an old friend, she used me
I still wrap myself in a blanket given to me by a best friend who abused me
I keep so much….so much….

I still keep memories or moments of the people who abuse me…..Why? Cause I’m sick and I miss them? Maybe, maybe I miss the good there was from my time with them? But it could also be because they remind me to move forward, to know where I was then and where I am now.

Or maybe, just maybe, I still keep them cause I want to remember everything. Even if it hurts? Who knows. But I’m better now. Better then I used to be.