tel-abelas-mofo:

enchanted-phoenix:

thevikingwoman:

ellstersmash:

ellstersmash:

Things I have said to myself while writing smut:

• listen bub, i may not know what the hell I’m doin here but I cannot believe you haven’t grabbed her boobs yet
• Wait. Wait, are your pants still on?? How in the ever-loving FUCK–
• …I’m not sure that mean what I think it means.
• All right, we got hands on hands on hands. Where all my hands at? Hand check, everybody!
• someday im either going to have to make shit up or try something new, and I am not known for that second one.
• But if I use this line here I can never use it again………
• this is completely unrealistic. Someone says that to me and I will laugh in their face.
• …I wonder if I can still salvage this if I make her laugh in his face
• nope that totally killed the mood, the mood is cold and dead and decidedly un-sexy, go bACK
• Is that … plot?? In MY PORN ?!??
• I’m pretty sure people don’t bend that way. Or maybe it’s just me? Maybe I’m weird and everyone else bends that way.
• *takes a six-hour-long crash course in anatomy to confirm that they do not, in fact, bend that way*
• Oh hell, let’s just leave it at a blowjob and go get a snack.

In addition:

• god i hope the ending writes itself because if i’m being honest with myself, i got nothin.
• does my face look nonchalant enough to do this in public?
• THINK ABOUT POLITICS
• can anyone see my screen? what if I angle the screen this way, is that weird? ugh yes it’s totally weird everyone knows omg i can’t do this i have to go home
• On the one hand, she deserves some good cunnilingus OK? but on the other hand I do not want to write it
• *giggles* i can’t type that!
• i HAVE to type that.
• Let’s see, how many times have I used the word “cock”? …And how many times is acceptable?
• I can’t even tell if this is hot anymore…

• This is probably unrealistic but damn it, it’s my fantasy smut
• What sort of warnings do I need to put on this?
• Fuck I forgot she only has one arm!

• Should I watch some porn for ideas? Yeah, I probably should.
• Holy crap, people DO bend that way.
• *blushing furiously*
• Aw heck. Now I need to go take a cold shower.

• alright just a quick sexy drabble
• … well i didn’t expect 5,000 words of angst but, look at that