So funny, how as soon as I find a guy the guy I still like finally starts moving forward. Crazy how long it’s been and I still find you charming. Still want a chance with you. But I decided not to wait. I’m sorry, to saying this here where he may read it, and I’m sorry to myself. To myself for getting all head over heels and giving up because of it. Because with you it’s so easy. And I knew the consequences and the ending I had anticipated but it still sucks. Cause you know everything about me and I know enough and have learned enough about you and from life not to do what I did to myself. So now I’ve moved on? Or at least I’m testing the waters with something new. Because I knew I wouldn’t be special to you.

I see the writing on my phone my heart swirls on a mix of purples and reds. Tinted with a touch of blue. My brain swirls with static and crackles that intern, somehow, become a melodic number that lets me sleep. Though it is not a peaceful sleep it is sleep isn’t it?! Isn’t it…..?

I hope to figure it all out. The answers are right in front of my bland face with high cheek bones and fully defined lips. Shimmering icy eyes, an olive tan to my skin. The answers are all in front of me, blurred by my hopelessly blind eyes and muted by my deaf ears. So I can’t put it together by myself.
Just a bland face, who’s lost.