Pathetic

“You are pathetic. Get over it.”

Maybe it’s me but the difference in my face is astounding. The exhaustion the stress the everything that has arose in the last two months it all shows in my face. I only hope it’s temporary.

Probably won’t be though…..

sailormoon–serina-is-my-name:

“Torturing yourself again?” You think to yourself. With a whisper you respond out loud, “it’s not torture…..it’s trying to understand”. You close your computer and sigh.

Your inner self laughs at you. “You’re pathetic. Just drink. Or do something. Don’t get butt hurt! Don’t think about it!” Your inner voice snaps.

You feel anxiety, your chest tightens and your eyes widen. “Oh come on, get yourself together. They aren’t your world don’t treat them like your world. Get a cold heart. You’re all mush now.” You think.

Though on the outside you push up your glasses and ruffle your hair. Trying to pretend you’re not drowning in some invisible cloud of things….emotions? Thoughts? Weakness? None of it matters none of it means anything. Why would it? Why should it? “Stop looking at it. Stop thinking. STOP!” You yell inside.

It’s just you being crazy and confused. You’ll get over it. But….what if…..

sailormoon–serina-is-my-name:

The nightmares that haunt me are of a missing familiar sensation

Not because of them but because it became came a sensation I found as a part of my daily routine

Now gone from my senses I live in longing, I live in emptiness

I crave something? Someone? Who knows? Who cares?