Maybe it’s good I’m leaving? Going home. I mean as my best friend once said “Maybe this is a sign to move on in our lives. To better our lives.” I think she may have been right. And so when I leave I will hope to leave deep impressions on the hearts and souls of those I’ve touched with my very own. No matter what becomes of our connection. So yea, maybe it’s good I’m leaving. Maybe I need to start over again.

Very much I am unwanted. For several reasons. Ask each person I care about each person I’ve ever been with or wanted to be with. Every person I have kissed. Or touched. I am unwanted. I’m not even a contender for many reasons and that is all my fault.

Strawberry mermaid

I want to cry so much. Cause I can’t do anything. And I can’t do anything right either. What’s truly sad is I can’t cry a tear or wail in pain. Pain for a reason you’ll never understand.

Strawberry mermaid

Songs about you…

To those to whom know I like them….. (The order doesn’t have significance. But if either see this..I hope you know which is yours)

A: Kiss like real people do . Hozier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao86ErZEtZI

B: Jenny . Studio Killers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyj4JFSErrw

To my parents… (You’ll never see this, but here it is.)

Mom: Mom – Meghan Trainor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1VbOQPxpSU

Dad: Down the Road – Kenny Chesney (The idea behind part of this is why i picked this)

Dad: Piece by Piece – Kelly Clarkson (If there is any song that really speaks the levels of my emotion towards you it’s this)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqCqYP7hDWI

To my best friend and my symboling that I’ll never live without…

I couldn’t come up with songs for you guys, but that should mean something. It meaning theres not a song that can explain to you how much I love you guys.

Did I screw up? Who knows, but I did something…for once I moved my piece and rather then regret not doing anything I’ve done something and I suppose and hope I won’t regret it.

For me. For the sake of sanity. I hope everything will be alright at some point. But for now bedtime. And 15 hours of work!!!

Bangs redone!!!!

I need to redo my hair color!!!! It’s too blonde!!!

I can’t tell if I’m bloated or sore. It’s probably both but my body just feels confused….

(Side note, so much for hanging out….that’s probably my fault)

When you’re suddenly numb and lonely. When you don’t know how to feel……thinking about it… that’s like the most dangerous state for me or anyone to be in.

When you’re numb you’d do anything just to feel. Feel something. When you’re numb you don’t care what happens you don’t care about anything. That’s dangerous. Truly dangerous.

To you my tin man, don’t fret or worry and don’t get so worked up you rust on yourself. You have better things to do then listen to the trees that curse or insult you. You’re too good for those trees.